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acdholmesfest“Good Lord, Holmes!”
“Pretty steep, isn’t it?”
“I shall certainly invest my next royalty payments in shares in the specialist laundry business. Mrs Hudson on strike again, I take it?”
My friend nodded, moving to his desk and unlocked the drawer. I noted that he took out my chequebook.
“I fear that the half-pound of potassium permanganate on the eiderdown was the final straw. Now, let us see how this divides up.”
He began to read aloud:
“ Wright, Flood and Scrubb, Ltd.
Launderers of Distinction
Dear Sirs,
We beg to present our account for the following:
Item: Gentleman’s ivory silk evening scarf. Tobacco stains, five. Soap and steam, hand finished, 5 s 9d. Filthy habit, smoking.
Item: Gentleman’s white kid gloves. Bloodstains, sundry. Salt treatment, steam, stretch and air dry 8 s. Ouch; more painful than the injury.
Item: Gentleman’s collar, size 16 inches, blackcurrant jam. Bleached and starched. 3s 6d. They missed a bit."
"Dear me, so far these do all appear to be your clothes, Watson, and thus your obligation. Ah…” he chuckled. “Item: Lady’s lace-edged white lawn handkerchief. Theatrical greasepaint. Lye, pressed and starched. 4s. What little peccadillloes have you been up to in Miss Lottie Lindow’s dressing room at the Haymarket, eh, Watson?”
I strode across the room and snatched the offending object from his fingers.
“You know perfectly well that you borrowed that handkerchief to wipe off your disguise as an aged stage door johnnie; and I am merely a sincere admirer of Miss Lindow’s talent, as you also know perfectly well. As for the rest,” I went on, warming to my theme, “my best scarf was marked because, whilst it lay drying over the fireguard after you had me out in the pouring rain staking out that stage costumier’s workshop, your violin string snapped during a particularly frenzied cadenza and splattered those disgusting, half-smoked plugs of pipe tobacco that you insist on using again, right off the mantelpiece and onto my scarf. Furthermore, if you put a leaky butcher’s bag filled with raw liver onto a table without troubling to check what is already on that table, bloodstains on someone else’s gloves are the likely result.”
“You will allow that without that liver, and a hungry guard dog, we should not have caught Bosworth the murderous fancy tailor?”
“Nevertheless, not my stain. As for the jam…”
“Must be you. I never touch the stuff.”
“No. You prefer to wrap the jar you used to trap a stray wasp in one of my collars instead. I suppose I should be grateful it wasn’t soaked in formaldehyde to boot.”
“Oh, I threw that one awa-. Well, never mind that.”
“What about the rest of the list?”
Holmes fished in the envelope and pulled out three more sheets. He turned the pages toward the light from the gas lamp.
“Ah. These all appear to be –“
“Yours as well. My chequebook, if you please, Holmes.”
He surrendered it, scratched around in his coat pocket for its counterpart, winced at the total once more, and proceeded to pay his dues...
Art
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
vernets created The Calculation is a Simple One for spacemutineer
elina_elsu created Chemistry for capt_facepalm
fabelschwester created Disguise for elina_elsu
Fic
mistyzeo wrote The Queen’s Migration for vernets
mainecoon76wrote A Matter of Integrity fortweedisgood
apidologist wrote The Most Exasperating Man in London for thesmallhobbit
alafaye wrote Small Moments for fleetwood_mouse
garonne wrote The Rose Grew Round the Briar for alafaye
methylviolet10b wrote Legacy for tripleransom
fleetwood_mouse wrote The Language of Flowers for methylviolet10b
leone wrote Fever Dream for apidologist
thesmallhobbit wrote The Case of the Reluctant Fiance for leone
tripleransom wrote One Day at the Races for mistyzeo
tweedisgood wrote Fair Hearts of Finest Glow for garonne
sherlockholmes wrote Distillery for soul_bonnie
colebaltblue wrote The Adventure of the Missing Actressfor sherlockholmes
rabidsamfan wrote Lion as an extra pinch hit for fabelschwester
spacemutineer wrote The One Fixed Point for colebaltblue
capt_facepalm wrote The Murder of Agnes Day for lynndyre
soul_bonnie wrote The Voice in My Head for fabelschwester
lynndyre wrote The Case of Dr Frances Henry Lark for mainecoon76
tweedisgood,spacemutineer and methylviolet10b [in that order] wrote the three parts of From Head to Toe for the wonderful rabidsamfan, pinch hitter.
Please do go and acknowledge feedback in your own persons, post to your own journals, communities etc. and to A03. There is a community there for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
acd_holmesfest entries, here
*scatters roses*
If you can stand my bungling again, we’ll meet again next Spring ;-)
And to the Holmes and Watson [not necessarily in any particular order] to my Athelney Jones,spacemutineer and methylviolet10b, THANK YOU. What vestiges of my sanity remain, have your names on them.
Tweed xxxx
“Pretty steep, isn’t it?”
“I shall certainly invest my next royalty payments in shares in the specialist laundry business. Mrs Hudson on strike again, I take it?”
My friend nodded, moving to his desk and unlocked the drawer. I noted that he took out my chequebook.
“I fear that the half-pound of potassium permanganate on the eiderdown was the final straw. Now, let us see how this divides up.”
He began to read aloud:
“ Wright, Flood and Scrubb, Ltd.
Launderers of Distinction
Dear Sirs,
We beg to present our account for the following:
Item: Gentleman’s ivory silk evening scarf. Tobacco stains, five. Soap and steam, hand finished, 5 s 9d. Filthy habit, smoking.
Item: Gentleman’s white kid gloves. Bloodstains, sundry. Salt treatment, steam, stretch and air dry 8 s. Ouch; more painful than the injury.
Item: Gentleman’s collar, size 16 inches, blackcurrant jam. Bleached and starched. 3s 6d. They missed a bit."
"Dear me, so far these do all appear to be your clothes, Watson, and thus your obligation. Ah…” he chuckled. “Item: Lady’s lace-edged white lawn handkerchief. Theatrical greasepaint. Lye, pressed and starched. 4s. What little peccadillloes have you been up to in Miss Lottie Lindow’s dressing room at the Haymarket, eh, Watson?”
I strode across the room and snatched the offending object from his fingers.
“You know perfectly well that you borrowed that handkerchief to wipe off your disguise as an aged stage door johnnie; and I am merely a sincere admirer of Miss Lindow’s talent, as you also know perfectly well. As for the rest,” I went on, warming to my theme, “my best scarf was marked because, whilst it lay drying over the fireguard after you had me out in the pouring rain staking out that stage costumier’s workshop, your violin string snapped during a particularly frenzied cadenza and splattered those disgusting, half-smoked plugs of pipe tobacco that you insist on using again, right off the mantelpiece and onto my scarf. Furthermore, if you put a leaky butcher’s bag filled with raw liver onto a table without troubling to check what is already on that table, bloodstains on someone else’s gloves are the likely result.”
“You will allow that without that liver, and a hungry guard dog, we should not have caught Bosworth the murderous fancy tailor?”
“Nevertheless, not my stain. As for the jam…”
“Must be you. I never touch the stuff.”
“No. You prefer to wrap the jar you used to trap a stray wasp in one of my collars instead. I suppose I should be grateful it wasn’t soaked in formaldehyde to boot.”
“Oh, I threw that one awa-. Well, never mind that.”
“What about the rest of the list?”
Holmes fished in the envelope and pulled out three more sheets. He turned the pages toward the light from the gas lamp.
“Ah. These all appear to be –“
“Yours as well. My chequebook, if you please, Holmes.”
He surrendered it, scratched around in his coat pocket for its counterpart, winced at the total once more, and proceeded to pay his dues...
Art
vernets created The Calculation is a Simple One for spacemutineerelina_elsu created Chemistry for capt_facepalmfabelschwester created Disguise for elina_elsuFic
mistyzeo wrote The Queen’s Migration for vernetsmainecoon76wrote A Matter of Integrity fortweedisgoodapidologist wrote The Most Exasperating Man in London for thesmallhobbitalafaye wrote Small Moments for fleetwood_mousegaronne wrote The Rose Grew Round the Briar for alafayemethylviolet10b wrote Legacy for tripleransomfleetwood_mouse wrote The Language of Flowers for methylviolet10bleone wrote Fever Dream for apidologistthesmallhobbit wrote The Case of the Reluctant Fiance for leonetripleransom wrote One Day at the Races for mistyzeotweedisgood wrote Fair Hearts of Finest Glow for garonnesherlockholmes wrote Distillery for soul_bonniecolebaltblue wrote The Adventure of the Missing Actressfor sherlockholmesrabidsamfan wrote Lion as an extra pinch hit for fabelschwesterspacemutineer wrote The One Fixed Point for colebaltbluecapt_facepalm wrote The Murder of Agnes Day for lynndyresoul_bonnie wrote The Voice in My Head for fabelschwesterlynndyre wrote The Case of Dr Frances Henry Lark for mainecoon76tweedisgood,spacemutineer and methylviolet10b [in that order] wrote the three parts of From Head to Toe for the wonderful rabidsamfan, pinch hitter.Please do go and acknowledge feedback in your own persons, post to your own journals, communities etc. and to A03. There is a community there for
acd_holmesfest entries, here*scatters roses*
If you can stand my bungling again, we’ll meet again next Spring ;-)
And to the Holmes and Watson [not necessarily in any particular order] to my Athelney Jones,
spacemutineer and methylviolet10b, THANK YOU. What vestiges of my sanity remain, have your names on them.Tweed xxxx
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ACD Holmes Fanworks Exchange, Round 3
Date: 2013-11-05 02:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-05 04:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-05 04:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-05 06:16 pm (UTC)This was so much fun. Very high-quality fics for all.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-09 08:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-05 07:40 pm (UTC)Great job, everybody! I was so lucky to get two very beautiful and touching fics, thanks so much everybody involved!!
Overall, extremely high quality fanworks all around. One thing I noticed though is that we all kept ratings rather low this time. And while I love me some clever case fic, I already know what I'm going to request next time! ;D
Cheers everybody!
no subject
Date: 2013-11-09 08:58 am (UTC)Thanks for taking part.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-05 08:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-09 08:59 am (UTC)I'm never going to get tired of bee-related puns.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-09 03:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-09 04:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-05 08:56 pm (UTC)And for Mrs Hudson, in the interest of upholding the domestic peace in Baker Street.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-09 09:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-06 06:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-17 11:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-06 10:23 pm (UTC)And thank you mods, all of you, for organising another great round. I enjoy this enormously every time!
no subject
Date: 2013-11-09 09:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-07 04:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-09 09:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-09 01:47 pm (UTC)