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acdholmesfest“Holmes…”
Damn. I had not expected him home quite so soon.
“Yes, Watson? Good evening to you.”
“There is a damp piece of paper on my chair. Very damp. And my desk, and your chair, and three on the table, and…goodness, what has happened here?”
Nothing that you will be able to drag out of me, dear friend.
“A slight accident to one volume of the Index; it will mend itself in time. Pray, do not trouble yourself.”
“But the ink is run; much of this will have to be done again. I confess to surprise that you are not in a state of high dudgeon about whatever the ‘accident’ was.”
“Well, well, you know these things happen. All in a day’s work.”
“Holmes, when you descend to cliché I begin to suspect you of hiding something. Out with it!”
Just my luck that he wouldn’t drop it. How like a terrier is my Watson: the very best man to have at your side in a scrape; the very worst to have against your secrets when his curiosity is roused.
“No.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“And when you ask redundant questions, I begin to suspect you of being John Watson. That, or deaf. I said, ‘no’; I decline to tell you what happened.”
“Very well. Then I shall apply your methods.”
Here we go again.
“One: you are in the habit of concealing facts from me from three chief motives: pride, danger and showmanship. Two: this particular sheet of paper is very damp indeed, but I can see that it comes from your book of 'W's.”
“Watson! Put that down this instant!”
His habit of obedience is also terrier-like: that is to say, in principle willing but in practice somewhat unreliable.
“Hmm. It appears to be near the beginning.” A pause, whilst he scrutinises the blue-black blurr of my notes and the wrinkled, gummy mess which is all that remains of the newspaper cuttings. “Holmes, why do I have an entry in your criminal index?”
“Ah... crimes against science, my dear fellow. Or against literature, take your pick.”
He masters his instinctual upsurge of indignation really well, I must say.
“I in my turn 'decline' to dignify that with a response. I suppose Lestrade, Gregson and the rest also have their pages?”
“Indeed.”
“It has not rained for three days. Yet you changed your clothes at some time, between breakfast and just now. Have you been near the Thames, the Serpentine, nor any body of water in London since this morning?”
It all depends on what you mean by “body of water”.
“Really Holmes, it is too bad: how can one conduct an investigation if the principal witness refuses to answer questions?”
All this time, and he does not know the answer to that. Just as well, though.
“And where are you going?”
“I hear Mrs Hudson approaching with our meal. I must assist her to negotiate the door handle whilst encumbered with a tray. Mr Darwin has yet to explain why natural selection has neglected to furnish landladies and housekeepers with an extra pair of hands.”
The estimable Mrs Hudson has perfected her own schemes to defy the laws of nature and physics, but let that lie. I must waylay her before her desire to lay down domestic law overcomes her discretion.
“Allow me to carry in the tray, which I see you have so efficiently set for two. Dr Watson is a trifle early, is he not? He looks peaky. Hot broth and some peace and quiet...”
She keeps her voice low, but it is her choice and not my wheedling that makes it so.
“Pages Wo- to Wu- are drying in the kitchen, Mr Holmes. I will say nothing to the good Doctor, provided I have your assurances that you understand I did not have upstairs plumbing, constant hot water and the very latest in modern sanitary conveniences installed so that certain persons could read in the bath.”
Assurances given. At the very least, next time I shall put a board across the tub. The reassembly of the Index, all in due order, is easily done...
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vernets created The Only Selfish Action for omelton
garonne wrote Observation, Hypothesis, Prediction, Experiment for mainecoon76
gardnerhill wrote The One at Number 7 for sherlockholmes
methylviolet10b wrote and illustrated Drawing Conclusions for stardust_made and fabelschwester
impulsereader wrote Seasoned Truths for keerawa
flawedamythyst wrote A Case of Discovery for garonne
omelton created Illustrations for 'Moustery' for rabidsamfan's ACD crossover with The Great Mouse Detective
dreamtimegirl wrote World Enough and Time and Another Spring for gardnerhill
thesmallhobbit wrote The Case of the Bogus Laundry for enname
keerawa recorded a podfic of flawedamythyst's story The Incident in the Room with the Red Curtain for dreamtimegirl
sherlockholmes wrote Resolution for thesmallhobbit
mainecoon76 wrote The Merits of Poetic Licence for mistyzeo
methylviolet10b wrote and illustrated Sixfold in Scarlet as a pinch hitter for vernets
mistyzeo wrote Fight and Flight for tweedisgood
capt_facepalm wrote The Adventure of the Brewer's Ring for impulsereader
rabidsamfan wrote Child's Play for methylviolet10b
enname created Remembrance Day for capt_facepalm based on a scene from her story Roll Call
tweedisgood wrote Susurration for tazlet
stardust_made wrote and fabelschwester illustrated The Case of the Brown Paper Package for flawedamythyst
tweedisgood recorded a podfic of Point of Origin for methylviolet10b
Culprits will be restored to their crimes in the actual posts later today, meantime, please do respond to comments, cross-post your work as you like and if you are on A03, consider using the community collection HERE
If you do not have an A03 account and want an invite, both myself andmethylviolet10b have spares; ask at this post or PM us.
Damn. I had not expected him home quite so soon.
“Yes, Watson? Good evening to you.”
“There is a damp piece of paper on my chair. Very damp. And my desk, and your chair, and three on the table, and…goodness, what has happened here?”
Nothing that you will be able to drag out of me, dear friend.
“A slight accident to one volume of the Index; it will mend itself in time. Pray, do not trouble yourself.”
“But the ink is run; much of this will have to be done again. I confess to surprise that you are not in a state of high dudgeon about whatever the ‘accident’ was.”
“Well, well, you know these things happen. All in a day’s work.”
“Holmes, when you descend to cliché I begin to suspect you of hiding something. Out with it!”
Just my luck that he wouldn’t drop it. How like a terrier is my Watson: the very best man to have at your side in a scrape; the very worst to have against your secrets when his curiosity is roused.
“No.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“And when you ask redundant questions, I begin to suspect you of being John Watson. That, or deaf. I said, ‘no’; I decline to tell you what happened.”
“Very well. Then I shall apply your methods.”
Here we go again.
“One: you are in the habit of concealing facts from me from three chief motives: pride, danger and showmanship. Two: this particular sheet of paper is very damp indeed, but I can see that it comes from your book of 'W's.”
“Watson! Put that down this instant!”
His habit of obedience is also terrier-like: that is to say, in principle willing but in practice somewhat unreliable.
“Hmm. It appears to be near the beginning.” A pause, whilst he scrutinises the blue-black blurr of my notes and the wrinkled, gummy mess which is all that remains of the newspaper cuttings. “Holmes, why do I have an entry in your criminal index?”
“Ah... crimes against science, my dear fellow. Or against literature, take your pick.”
He masters his instinctual upsurge of indignation really well, I must say.
“I in my turn 'decline' to dignify that with a response. I suppose Lestrade, Gregson and the rest also have their pages?”
“Indeed.”
“It has not rained for three days. Yet you changed your clothes at some time, between breakfast and just now. Have you been near the Thames, the Serpentine, nor any body of water in London since this morning?”
It all depends on what you mean by “body of water”.
“Really Holmes, it is too bad: how can one conduct an investigation if the principal witness refuses to answer questions?”
All this time, and he does not know the answer to that. Just as well, though.
“And where are you going?”
“I hear Mrs Hudson approaching with our meal. I must assist her to negotiate the door handle whilst encumbered with a tray. Mr Darwin has yet to explain why natural selection has neglected to furnish landladies and housekeepers with an extra pair of hands.”
The estimable Mrs Hudson has perfected her own schemes to defy the laws of nature and physics, but let that lie. I must waylay her before her desire to lay down domestic law overcomes her discretion.
“Allow me to carry in the tray, which I see you have so efficiently set for two. Dr Watson is a trifle early, is he not? He looks peaky. Hot broth and some peace and quiet...”
She keeps her voice low, but it is her choice and not my wheedling that makes it so.
“Pages Wo- to Wu- are drying in the kitchen, Mr Holmes. I will say nothing to the good Doctor, provided I have your assurances that you understand I did not have upstairs plumbing, constant hot water and the very latest in modern sanitary conveniences installed so that certain persons could read in the bath.”
Assurances given. At the very least, next time I shall put a board across the tub. The reassembly of the Index, all in due order, is easily done...
vernets created The Only Selfish Action for omeltongaronne wrote Observation, Hypothesis, Prediction, Experiment for mainecoon76gardnerhill wrote The One at Number 7 for sherlockholmesmethylviolet10b wrote and illustrated Drawing Conclusions for stardust_made and fabelschwesterimpulsereader wrote Seasoned Truths for keerawaflawedamythyst wrote A Case of Discovery for garonneomelton created Illustrations for 'Moustery' for rabidsamfan's ACD crossover with The Great Mouse Detectivedreamtimegirl wrote World Enough and Time and Another Spring for gardnerhillthesmallhobbit wrote The Case of the Bogus Laundry for ennamekeerawa recorded a podfic of flawedamythyst's story The Incident in the Room with the Red Curtain for dreamtimegirlsherlockholmes wrote Resolution for thesmallhobbitmainecoon76 wrote The Merits of Poetic Licence for mistyzeomethylviolet10b wrote and illustrated Sixfold in Scarlet as a pinch hitter for vernetsmistyzeo wrote Fight and Flight for tweedisgoodcapt_facepalm wrote The Adventure of the Brewer's Ring for impulsereaderrabidsamfan wrote Child's Play for methylviolet10benname created Remembrance Day for capt_facepalm based on a scene from her story Roll Calltweedisgood wrote Susurration for tazletstardust_made wrote and fabelschwester illustrated The Case of the Brown Paper Package for flawedamythyst tweedisgood recorded a podfic of Point of Origin for methylviolet10bCulprits will be restored to their crimes in the actual posts later today, meantime, please do respond to comments, cross-post your work as you like and if you are on A03, consider using the community collection HERE
If you do not have an A03 account and want an invite, both myself and
methylviolet10b have spares; ask at this post or PM us.
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no subject
Date: 2013-04-08 11:39 am (UTC)Thank you for another lovely exchange!
no subject
Date: 2013-04-08 06:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-08 11:46 am (UTC)Oh, bless.... gosh knows I've done a similar thing more than once.
Grazie mille for all the work and effort you and the other mods put in.
no subject
Date: 2013-04-08 06:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-08 12:20 pm (UTC)Hehe. ;D
It was a pleasure taking part in this fest, as always. Thanks everybody!
no subject
Date: 2013-04-08 06:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 07:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-08 02:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-08 06:13 pm (UTC)Glad you could join us.
no subject
Date: 2013-04-08 02:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-08 06:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 02:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 08:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-10 02:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 02:31 am (UTC)Thank you very much for doing all the work!
no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 08:29 pm (UTC)It was absolutely a joint effort and
no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 10:50 am (UTC)Oh, but I'm dramatically behind in reading. Well, at least that means I still have something to look forward to.
no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 11:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 08:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 10:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 08:33 pm (UTC)As I tagged, the reveal post fic is now a revered
twicesince time immemorial.no subject
Date: 2013-04-10 03:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 07:23 pm (UTC)Thank you for organising this again.
no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 08:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 08:30 pm (UTC)Thank you all for organising this again! It's very much appreciated. Very happy to see the mention of a "next time" a couple of comments up :)
no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 08:36 pm (UTC)And I'm glad you enjoyed the reveal post, it's a pleasant challenge trying to work in the idea of a list each time.
no subject
Date: 2013-04-14 06:00 pm (UTC)